Not Your Fault
by 8belles
Summary: Captain America: Civil War. In the comics, the death of a hero stops the fighting in the Civil War arc. Who makes the ultimate sacrifice to stop the fighting? Reviews are always welcome. (ficlet/short shot)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N in the "Civil War" comic, it is the death of Colossus by a life model decoy (LMD) of Thor that stops the heroes from fighting- yeah, comics. Also, in CACW interviews, S. Stan has been very blunt about the only thing holding Bucky together is the fact Steve is alive. Because they can't cast everyone in CACW, perhaps a different loss will stop the argument.**

Vision's fiery yellow blast was an incandescence of light and sublime pain. Bucky caught the beam in the gut as it ricocheted off a wall, spinning him like a child's top. A loud groan escaped him as if he'd been sucker punched like Steve used to be in those Brooklyn back alleys.

Red began to flow like the beginning of a summer's rain on dry land; soft at first but then building as if a flash flood was impending. Dropping to his hands and knees, his metal hand clutching his abdomen, Barnes bent forward. Sweat drenched hair hung like thick vines before his eyes as he glanced down briefly at the dripping gore.

Sucking breath, fighting waves of agony and nausea, Bucky looked up slowly for Rogers. The heroes fought on oblivious to his grievous wounds. He couldn't let Steve see him die. No, he couldn't do that again to him; he already died in front of Cap once. Twice would send him over the edge. Best friends don't do that to each other.

Hauling himself drunkenly to his feet with supreme effort, Bucky bounced and staggered bloodily off walls, leaving a dripping trail of red and smeared handprints on the rough concrete walls as he lost his balance time and time again.

Finally, a place not too far away but not in Steve's line of sight, Bucky crumpled into a heap. He could die in peace. The only thing Barnes wanted to tell him was none of this was his fault.

Drifting in and out of consciousness, Bucky waited for his life to flash before his eyes like everybody says it does when you're dying. He waited. Nothing came. A cruel smile picked at his lips as the light began to fade from his eyes. Hydra took all that away.

Slowly, he began to feel sleepy and cooler. It started in his feet losing sensation with them and then cold ropes began to climb up his legs. Occasionally a spasm of torture would shoot through him as he bled out and his body clung desperately to life. Under his left hand he felt the red pulsing between the metal plates with each heartbeat. The mortician would have a heck of a time cleaning that up. No, he corrected himself exhaustedly, he wanted to be cremated. Would they give him a twenty-one-gun salute after all he's done?

"Bucky!" Steve's voice echoed over the concrete structure like the call of an infantry bugle, "BUCKY!"

Barnes listened for the direction and gasped, "—Steve?"

Steve ran towards the sigh of his name like rolling thunder after lightening, "Bucky!" Skidding to a stop, ripping off his helmet, he looked Barnes over, horrified. Cap felt the air sucked from his lungs in shock. His worst nightmare was happening. This was all just a bad dream, he was almost sure of it. Glancing over his shoulder, hoping when he looked back Bucky would be ok and not lying in a pool of his own blood, face pale as death, he barked. "C'mon. Stark will be here any minute. Gotta get you outta here." Rogers kneeled to pick up his best friend.

"No. I'm right where I belong. It's ok. Now." Bucky responded, weakly holding up his right hand to stop Rogers.

Cap looked down at his friend, dumbfounded, "What do you mean?"

"You're here." A wave of pain washed over Barnes's face then he tried to smile. Steve's heart cracked in his chest. "I found you again. But you got to clear my name. I didn't bomb the UN." Bucky's eyebrows frowned for emphasis as the pain sent tight lines across his mouth.

Cap looked confused but then replied, "Sure Buck… Whatever you want. We can do it. C'mon let's get out of here." Tears began to gather in Cap's eyes about to be blinked out.

"I can … finally rest." Barnes sighed and turned his face away, eyelids sliding closed.

"Don't talk like that." Steve sounded angry as drops began to fall to his cheeks, "I'm getting you out of here. Now."

Bucky's eyes snapped open at those words and glowed with the steely gaze of the dying, "None of it is your fault." He coughed his breath, "I'll be free. I can die now like I should have 70 years ago."

Cap's resolve fractured like glass and he began openly sobbing, grabbing Bucky up in his arms as if he could tether Barnes to this earth by holding on to him, "You can't go, Buck. I just got you back." He buried his face in the sweat stained mop of Barnes's head.

"Remember—you're a good man. Never forget that." Bucky whispered to Rogers, working his right hand loose and pointing a finger into Steve's' chest, weakly.

"Bucky." Cap hiccupped and sniffled, holding onto his best friend for life.

"It's not your fault. You're a good man. Remember." was all Steve heard before the silence.

Rogers shook violently with grief with Barnes in his arms. His head fell back as an enormous howl of anguish tore itself from his body.

There was only one person who could fix this, if it could be fixed at all.

"STARK!" Steve roared like a bear, gathering Bucky in his arms carrying him out to the fighting Avengers.

They all stopped mid strike, realizing who Steve was holding into the light of day.

 **A/N 2… this came to me after a conversation with another excellent writer, c** **airistiona7, who was afraid of Marvel killing off Bucky (again). I don't that will happen, but the idea appealed to me (I have a dark sense of humor) and so at 11pm last night, this dialogue appeared in my head dragging me out of bed for it.**


	2. Chapter 2

It's Not Your Fault ch 2

The space the Avengers occupied suddenly felt as tiny as the smallest elevator car with all of them crammed inside. A hot wind blew through the space as if from a blast furnace.

Spider-Man hung upside down from his web suspended from a broken girder, "Oh. This is not good."

Black Widow checked the right hook she was about to give Hawkeye as she pressed him down into the ground with her left. Her mouth fell open slightly as her eyes went wide in surprise. Hawkeye followed her gaze, twisting his head upward from his prone position to see what made her stop.

Vision and Falcon stopped their dangerous aerial dance and both settled gently on the ground; Falcon's jets sending up puffs of dust and Visions' cape fluttering gently around him solemnly.

T'Challa had Scarlet Witch by the arm about to sweep her feet out with a kick but he too paused and they both looked up at Steve exiting the broken rubble of the facility.

Agent 13 was preparing a flying kick at Tony Stark but ceased.

Tony Stark pivoted quickly to see what everyone had ceased fighting for. Did a Chitauri suddenly reappear? Bits of his PTSD flashed in his eyes like camera bulbs. His suit whirred and clicked at the sudden motion. Face mask flipping up, he saw Steve holding Bucky to his chest; Barnes limp as a rag doll, blood leaking down Roger's pants and dripping on the ground like a sick waterfall. Tony felt suddenly ill.

"Stark! I need your help." Steve's voice was strong but flawed with emotion.

Natasha leapt up from Hawkeye cussing violently in Russian and ran to Steve and Bucky. Steve didn't take his steely gaze from Tony as she felt for a pulse in Barnes's neck. There was the faintest of beats.

"Steve! Get him to the hospital now!" Natasha hissed at Rogers while she absently pushed the damp scraggly hair back from Bucky's alabaster skin.

"Stark. **This** isn't what we're fighting for. I need your help. Where is Doctor Cho?" Rogers stated firmly adjusting his grip on his fallen friend.

Tony looked up at the elevated trio, his brow beetling angrily over his brown eyes adrenaline still fresh, "What did you think was going to happen, Cap? We're all super powered beings. This is the loss we inflict on people every time we go into combat."

Steve inhaled carefully to try keeping his temper in check, "Stark. Now is not the time to be debating philosophical points."

"But it **IS** Steve." Stark spit back.

Natasha, frustrated by Stark's unwillingness to see the gravity of the moment looked at Rogers, "C'mon. I'll take you to her." Steve gave her a conflicted look of sadness and gratitude. Falcon moved to leave with them.

"Hey! Wait!" Spider-Man's youthful voice called out as he swung down from his perch. "My web is waterproof and makes a great bandage." Peter applied some web fluid to Bucky's side, not trusting himself to not puke if he looked deeper past the surface injury. This was no high school biology class, that was obvious.

"Thanks, Parker." Steve said gently and then turned to leave with Natasha.

The rest of the Avengers stood, still dumbstruck.

"What are we fighting for now, Tony?" Hawkeye asked with a hint of sarcasm as he dusted himself off and picked up his bow from the ground.

Tony turned his head to Clint and paused for a moment, slightly perplexed, "Right now, I'm not sure."

"That's what I thought." Barton concluded as he walked away to join his team. Scarlet Witch and Sharon joined up with him. Ant Man appeared from the rubble, blipping back to human size. Scott threw a disappointed look over his shoulder at Stark.

Tony watched Cap's friends depart, with Natasha, as Peter alighted near him, "So what do we do now, Tony?"

Stark looked down at the teen, "First, it's Mr. Stark to you Underoo." He looked back up to where Steve had just been standing, "We go to Dr. Cho's lab."


	3. Chapter 3

The quinjet had some basic first aid equipment, but it was the speed of the vehicle they were counting on to save Bucky's life. Hawkeye at the helm, he flew the plane as fast as the engines would take them breaking several country's sovereign air spaces. Clint didn't care. He was doing this for Rogers.

Steve stayed with Bucky, watching him, wishing for something good to come out of this. Natasha stayed with Steve occasionally handing him a tissue or giving him a reassuring pat on the back. Falcon stayed with them both like they were Russian nesting dolls, always together. Sharon kept an eye on the three admiring their devotion to each other as it reminded her of the 'old days' of SHIELD.

Scott sat in the corner of the plane playing Candy Crush on his phone. The mood in the quinjet had sucked all the humor out of him.

Scarlet Witch huddled in her seat remembering Pietro, trembling slightly.

No one bothered to radio ahead to Dr. Cho to explain the situation.

"What the hell is this?!" Cho spat angrily as she watched the unauthorized quinjet land on the helipad outside her hospital in Taiwan.

"I think it's called the Avengers need us." her assistant offered gently. Cho shot her a look then with a huff, straightened her lab coat over her scrubs to meet their guests.

Helen strode out, expecting to see Tony emerge down the ramp, but instead was greeted with a panic stricken Steve Rogers clutching what she thought looked like a corpse. Then she saw the metal arm. And the blood. All that blood.

Swallowing her shock, she went into full trauma mode. Her team had followed behind with a stretcher, just in case. Tony had been in contact with her over the last few weeks and she followed the news and stories of unease among the U.N. and the Avengers. It was just surprising that it was Steve at her door, instead of Tony.

"Dr. Cho…" Steve began as he wearily held the body of Bucky towards her.

"No time. NO time! Get him to the cradle!" Helen barked and then began to shout orders in Chinese at her team. They swooped into to action carting Barnes away.

Natasha compartmentalized the moment and took Steve by the arm, leading him inside the facility. Falcon brought up the rear but then turned to the quinjet, "You coming?" he called to Clint and the rest of the crew.

"Let me find a place for this bird, just in case." Clint called back thinking but not voicing, 'In case Tony comes here to kill us all.'

Falcon nodded and continued inside behind Widow and Steve.

"It'll be ok, Steve." Natasha guided him into the facility. He gave her a wan smile as Sam wondered quietly how Rogers would make it out of this still sane. His own experience with Riley surfaced briefly like a scratch on a scar, still tender to the touch and never quite healed.

Cho and her team worked feverishly on Barnes, stabilizing vital signs and matching the tissues for the laser of the cradle to begin knitting him back together. The team was precise with their work. Steve watched outside the observation windows, a blood stained hand on the glass, palm stretched out as if he could touch Bucky and tell him it was going to be ok. Eventually he pressed his forehead to the glass and wept quietly.

Natasha and Sam held back slightly down the hallway, watching, but letting Cap have a moment. She whispered to Sam, "What do you think will happen?"

Wilson turned his head towards her, "What do you mean?"

"The Accords. Do you think he'll sign them if Bucky dies?" Widow answered a crease of worry in her brow.

Sam looked up at the distraught first Avenger having memories of his own, "I'm not sure. He may not want to even do 'this' anymore."

She sighed resignedly and he gave a quizzical look at her, "I'm not sure I'll want to either."

* * *

About two hours after their arrival, a nurse came out from the operating theater holding a thin tablet computer, "Captain Rogers?". Steve wiped the back of his gloved hand across his face, sniffling, not caring particularly if anyone saw him cry but trying to make himself somewhat presentable.

"Yes?" he answered, his voice thick and raw.

"Dr. Cho would like to talk to you." she said propping the computer in the crook of her elbow.

"Sure. Thanks." Steve glanced over his shoulder at Natasha and Sam. They tried to return encouraging looks.

The nurse led him to a small office off the operating theater and laboratory where the immaculate Helen Cho sat. She stood as Steve filled her doorway, "Always good to see you, Captain. Sorry it could not be for a more positive occasion."

"No ma'am, I should be thanking you for helping me." Steve gave an apologetic smile afraid to sit in her chairs so he wouldn't get them filthy but then was suddenly tender, "How's Bucky?"

"Please. Sit. We'll worry about the upholstery later." Cho said gently, "He is stable. For now."

Steve exhaled a breath thankfully, unaware he'd been holding it in trepidation.

"But, it will take at least all night to fix him. The cradle has a lot of work to do and that assumes none of his organs that are not damaged do not fail from his injuries." she said sympathetically but firmly

"Yes ma'am." Steve replied tiredly, "Can I see him?"

"Absolutely." Helen responded and stood to show him the way.

* * *

"What do you mean, Stark is here?" Widow seethed.

"I mean his ship is landing… well technically it's him in his fricking cool suit, but the rest of them came in a jet." Scott commented with a 'don't shoot the messenger' look on his face.

"He came to finish the job?" Sam bristled. Wanda stood nearby, her eyes hollow but a fire within, with Clint's fatherly arm around her shoulders.

"I doubt it." Natasha replied, "I could see gloating or perhaps a last chance to convince Steve while he's down but not to kill anyone." She glanced at Wanda, "We've had enough today."

Before anyone else could comment, Tony appeared through the sliding door to the helipad, his suit boots making loud clunking noises on the floor and servos whirring. Behind him was Vison, T'Challa and Peter. "I would do a wise crack about 'I come in peace.' but I wouldn't want lie. How about 'Take me to your leader!'" Stark began, his face plate sliding up. Tony glanced at Black Widow. Her face was a cold mask.

"I suppose fighting in a hospital is in bad form as well?" Clint ripped back.

"Last I checked this wasn't a hospital. It's a lab, Robin Hood. Like where your illustrious leader came from." Tony returned coolly, barely turning his head to acknowledge Hawkeye.

"And Steve was the last good thing your _father_ ever helped produce." Sam growled. Sparks flew from Tony's eyes.

"Stark. Stand down." Helen Cho appeared from around the corner, a stern look on her face. "Take off that ridiculous armor. No one is fighting anyone here."

"Out of respect for science, I acquiesce, Dr. Cho." Tony remarked with a curt nod.

Helen gave him a look then pointed a finger in the opposite direction of Cap's team, "You all can change or clean up over in that wing. If you happen to come into the common areas, absolutely no fighting. I have tranquilizers that will take you all down and leave a nasty hangover."

"Just like Budapest." Widow remarked to Barton.

He looked incredulously at her, "Again- your memories do not align with mine. Are you _sure_ we fought there together?"

As they disappeared around the corner, Peter Parker remarked admiringly about Helen, "Wow, she's totally 'Crouching Dragon, Hidden Tiger'."

"Don't forget it, Underoos." Stark muttered back.

"It's Peter Parker. My name." Peter groused back, the eyes of his mask narrowing.

"And that's my tech you're wearing, kid." Tony reminded. T'challa and Vision smiled briefly as Parker pouted.

* * *

Steve had no idea Stark had arrived. All he could see was Bucky in the cradle.

It looked more like coffin. _Another coffin_.

The file with Bucky frozen by HYDRA in WWII appeared in his mind, then Stark's cryo-tank when they arrested him and now _this_.

Would he ever be free?

Rogers watched the blue laser work slowly across Barnes's skin building new tissue from the old.

"Even when I had nothing, I had you." Steve placed his hand on the glass above his best friend.

"Steve, we've got company." Sam interrupted, "Tony's here."

* * *

Stark, now in plain clothes, looked at Cap, who stood wearily still in battle gear, staring at the floor as he leaned against the door frame.

For the first time, Tony saw the burden Steve carried as if seventy years of history rested on his shoulders. Captain America finally looked _old_. Stark felt a flash of sympathy for him and their bruised friendship ached in his chest. Tony hated these moments that were quiet and awkward. They reminded him of the cold shoulder his father would give him when he was deep in a project. Again, he was reminded that Steve Rogers was _almost_ like a son to his father. The son who could do no wrong, according to Howard Stark. It was hard for Tony to suppress the bitterness of all those years ago and not let it flavor the present.

Steve exhaustedly looked up from his dust stained boots, uncrossing his arms from his broad chest exposing the white star there. It was smeared with Bucky's blood in a muddled rust brown. Most of his blue uniform was a muddy purple where Bucky had bled. "What do you want?" he asked with a flat, emotionless voice, eyes unflinching.

Tony thought for a moment then stuck his hands in his pants for lack of something to do with them. He suddenly wished he had a Rubik's Cube or something to fidget with. He thought best when he was fidgeting with a gadget of some sort. Holding Steve's gaze, he spoke, "You think our hands are still the safest?"

The blue of Steve's eyes darkened several shades as he pushed himself up from the door frame, bristling, "Yes."

Stark sighed in frustration, "You can say that honestly with your… best friend wounded in the other room? How is that 'safe'? We have abilities normal people don't. The people of New York and Washington don't –"

"And Sokovia?" Steve interjected angrily, "And the blood of Peitro on your hands? Tell me that doesn't bother you."

Stark closed his mouth and stared hard at Steve trying to ignore the blood spatter on his cheeks. He paused briefly to calm his words, "I accept the error of my ways. I take no pride or joy in what my work has done at the expense of innocent lives."

Cap let his temper cool at Tony's words as he felt the river of rage drain away leaving him an empty shell. He was so tired of fighting. Ultron pointed that out: how could the Avengers exist without war? Was there a life after conflict for them?

Maybe Tony was right. Thinking back to all the young men who were killed in action while he served, to what SHIELD/HYDRA did to all the Inhumans and innocent people around the world in their quest for domination. Was the Earth saved? Yes. Was freedom preserved? Yes, but at what cost? Freedom may not be free, but was his ideology making the price too high for those to pay?

Tony watched Cap carefully as he struggled with his inner turmoil, not sure what he was going to do next. "The path to ruin is paved with the best of intentions." Rogers said quietly looking back through the doorway to the next room of the lab where the cradle sat, humming quietly, the blue laser slowly putting Bucky back together cell by cell.

Tony stayed mute.

Turning back to face Stark, Steve said, "Ok. You win."

Stark wasn't prepared to hear those words and staggered back a step, "Are you sure?"

Steve looked him in the eye, the anguish of feeling a failure clear on his face, "Yes."

For once, it didn't feel so good to win.

 **A/N- This is SO DIFFICULT to see how this will turn out. I tried very hard to stay true to the sides/ideologies. There are new trailers out, new dialogue to speculate upon and information from interviews with the Russo Brothers (bless their souls!). I hope you enjoyed this, but I am going to be a total wreck when this film comes out. Stick a fork in me, I'm done. 8belles**


End file.
